I'm just a shadow creeping through life — never been in a single relationship, timid, self-doubting. My youth has been one fantasy after another: dreaming that someday someone will love me, walk with me, laugh with me. Instead I spent my parents' money on school, graduated, found a job, and kept searching for a goal. Every time I see people posting happy couple moments online, I feel like crying. I keep envying everyone else's beautiful life while still wandering in search of my own direction. To all of you who seem so happy — please leave a little room for those of us hiding in the dark. I really don't want to cry into my pillow again.